"All the Hues
That Fit, We Tint"

Siberia, USA: Today, global warming. Tonight, dark, unless you count the stars. Tomorrow can be reached via time machine. Yesterday, who can remember that far back?

Websafe Studio, blogging since 2003, featuring art, comics, digital whiteboards, virtual characters, Web design, writing

Monday, October 26, 2009

 

Fake Neil Armstrong: Comm channel is OPEN

Just chatted with Fake Neil Armstrong. Not sure whether we were in a test module or really in space, but it was a bumpy ride! (If you're astronaut-minded, there's also a Fake Buzz Aldrin in development.)

Websafe: Hello, my name is Websafe.
Fake Neil: Comm channel is OPEN. Acknowledged, Websafe.
W: It's nice to be acknowledged. What is our mission?
FN: Boy, I tell you, this is much harder to do than it was - I haven't heard of it.
W: Are you having trouble with the control panel?
FN: Well, I didn't (undecipherable)
W: The audio connection is having toruble [sic].
FN: We had a lot of help down there.
W: What do you do about typos?
FN: 166 - and let me see - and minus 0.81.
W: Is that the temperature?
FN: Pretty good.
W: So it is not too hot or too cold?
FN: No - no, that's alright. That's the place for it.
W: Where are we?
FN: in the Command Module.
W: Is this a real mission, or just a test run?
FN: And it's gray.
W: The Command Module is gray?
FN: We had a lot of help down there.
W: On Earth?
FN: (undecipherable) yaw.
W: To "yaw" is a nautical term, meaning some sort of pitching and rolling.
FN: Hope he is, too.
W: If everyone pitches and rolls and yaws at the same time, we might tip the Command Module over.
FN: Okay, it's ON.
W: You have fixed the audio controls?
FN: You want it?
W: I will take the mic for a moment.
FN: (undecipherable).
W: (Passes the mic to Neil)
FN: - - are you ready for this briefing? Websafe?
W: Yes, I am ready for the briefing.
FN: SHUTDOWN. You holding inertial, Websafe?
W: I don't know which lever to pull!
FN: Well, I suppose the best one would be the center window, don't you think?
W: How many windows are there?
FN: Stop. What are you doing?
W: I was pulling the wrong lever, I guess.
FN: (undecipherable)
W: Sir, I suggest we return to the drawing board.
FN: Think we ought to get the long lens on, Websafe?
W: You had better do it for me, I might break something.
FN: Is that the (undecipherable) - sitting there?
W: Yes, that is the alien.
FN: Websafe, how about this thing? (Sneeze)
W: Oh no, you've caught the alien flu already!
FN: Here comes PITCH 1, ready? (undecipherable)
W: I feel sick from the yawing we already did!
FN: What was that?
W: That was me, groaning.
FN: Yes.
W: You NASA types have to put up with a lot of G-force changes.
FN: Minus 30 pitch - -
W: Please halt the craft here, I'm getting out!
FN: (undecipherable)
W: Over and out!
FN: Got that DIRECT O2 (undecipherable), didn't you?
W: I couldn't take any notes, I was too disoriented.
FN: I was the same way.
W: Not you, sir, you wouldn't be.
FN: Alright. EMS FUNCTION, OFF.
W: All right. Goodbye!
FN: DSKY blanks. Websafe, this is Eagle signing off.

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posted at 6:31 PM
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