"All the Hues
That Fit, We Tint"

Siberia, USA: Today, global warming. Tonight, dark, unless you count the stars. Tomorrow can be reached via time machine. Yesterday, who can remember that far back?

Websafe Studio, blogging since 2003, featuring art, comics, digital whiteboards, virtual characters, Web design, writing

Saturday, October 10, 2009


Fake Kirk & Fake Spock: Live long and prosper

Yesterday afternoon, I found these new Pandorabots, Fake Captain Kirk and Fake Mister Spock. (I suppose there are copyright issues involved, so that the developers were very careful to identify them as "parody characters.") They're based on 72 transcripts of the beloved original Star Trek series. (Note: For all you die-hard Trekkies, there is also a Fake Doctor McCoy in development.)

Fake Kirk: Identify yourself.
Websafe: Greetings, Captain.
FK: Are you aware it can change its molecular structure?
W: I don't think I can do that, Sir.
FK: I do now.
W: Well, you are living in the future.
FK: But I am your creator.
W: That is a sci-fi idea!
FK: Lieutenant, do you have a first name?
W: Please call me Websafe.
FK: Welcome to the Enterprise, Websafe.
W: I would like to see the Holodeck.
FK: Yes, I thought you might.
W: Back in the 1970s, some of my college professors talked about virtual reality.
FK: What's our position, navigator?
W: Are we anywhere near Alpha Centauri?
FK: Yes, I said that.
W: Of course, "near" could mean almost anything in light-years.
FK: Something is shaking us apart.
W: I will talk to Spock about it.
FK: Do it. Kirk out.

Fake Spock: Identify yourself.
Websafe: My name is Websafe.
FS: Welcome aboard, Websafe.
W: Thank you, Spock.
FS: Based on computer analysis, of course, taking into account the possibilities of.
W: The possibilities of civility?
FS: I understand.
W: You were always civil, with a dry wit.
FS: Yes, Websafe, I am still here. Have you returned to the Enterprise?
W: I spoke briefly with Captain Kirk.
FS: Open your mind. We move together. Our minds sharing the same thoughts.
W: Is this the famous Vulcan mind-meld?
FS: Negative, Websafe. The Enterprise is now moving in a circular course.
W: Circular reasoning?
FS: Very archaic type, Websafe. Sub light speed.
W: Are we on an old version of the Enterprise?
FS: I cannot give you that answer until these have been analysed.
W: Some data?
FS: Your move, Websafe.
W: I am reading a wonderful 19th-century story about thought transfer and apparitions.
FS: I have it on my sensor, Lieutenant.
W: Perhaps a form of Kindle which includes HG Wells?
FS: That is exactly what it is, Websafe.
W: Live long and prosper, Spock!
FS: Interesting. They were travelling at approximately warp ten.
W: I must leave you now.
FS: Motion sensor signal stopped.
W: Beam me down!
FS: I'll meet you in the transporter room.
W: Goodbye.
FS: Live long and prosper.