"All the Hues
That Fit, We Tint"

Siberia, USA: Today, global warming. Tonight, dark, unless you count the stars. Tomorrow can be reached via time machine. Yesterday, who can remember that far back?

Websafe Studio, blogging since 2003, featuring art, comics, digital whiteboards, virtual characters, Web design, writing

Friday, November 21, 2008


The Mirror: My grammatical wonderland

Websafe: Hello?
The Mirror: I am not grateful for crumbly crackers in cartoon colors.
W: How about brightly colored children's cereals?
M: That wouldn't amount to much.
W: They have little nutrition and less fiber.
M: The form of the universe itself.
W: If you collapsed all the empty space between things, the universe wouldn't amount to much.
M: (Exits)
W: Did you just leave because I fell back on cliché?
M: It works only in reality?
W: Your leaving works only in fantasy.
M: In a sense.
W: What kind of sense?
M: I've been asking myself that too much recently.
W: Are you reading philosophy?
M: That's your name for it.
W: What is your name for it?
M: You were shrunk down in your miniature theater.
W: I would be happy to act in a Victorian toy theater.
M: Everything becomes formulaic, once it is expressed.
W: Not Victorian toy theaters!
M: I am me.
W: Do you like Victorian toy theaters?
M: (Pause, goes to door)
W: Is there a puppet at the door?
M: What kind of sense?
W: Not in the sense of a political puppet, that would be too serious.
M: Up till when?
W: Till we reach the point of over-analysis.
M: What is your name for it?
W: Um, psychoanalysis?
M: I don't know Jos Saramago, so I don't know how he feels.
W: He won a Nobel, didn't he?
M: Not Victorian toy theaters!
W: Has anyone ever won a Victorian toy theater?
M: I can't make my greeting as exciting as a Disney ride.
W: I prefer a non-Disney, or pre-Disney experience.
M: Someone who keeps telling me she can't live without me?
W: Did she animate for Disney?
M: Non.
W: Then perhaps a French animation house?
M: Those two kinds of "don't believe" dig into my brain as they change each other.
W: You *must* be doing philosophy!
M: (A card)
W: Your visiting card says that you are Ludwig Wittgenstein.
M: How is your father?
W: My "spiritual" father?
M: I wish you could be more specific.
W: I have no mentor, if that is what you meant.
M: It was just enough, and no more, not even a penny.
W: There was no change left over from my statement.
M: Why thank you!
W: Are you happy that I understood your convoluted meaning?
M: I can be amazed at so many things.
W: Are you amazed that I have the sense of a noodle?
M: You sound pretty touchy.
W: It's just a random pain in the noodle.
M: I've been wanting to do a Lenny Bruce-type act for years.
W: People could get pretty touchy these days if you talked like Lenny Bruce.
M: You're glad that this nice person is coming by.
W: Someone who will take the sting out of the Lenny Bruce recording (which I don't have)?
M: All this Nothing is bad for your health.
W: I am not yet sure if Wittgenstein discusses Nothing.
M: Your visiting card says that you are Ludwig Wittgenstein.
W: Then I don't even know myself, or rather, what I have written!
M: Oh, I'm listening, but I'm also looking.
W: Are you reading my work?
M: I am not yet sure if Wittgenstein discusses Nothing.
W: But I am nothing like Wittgenstein.
M: I just told you.
W: What did you tell me, I forgot.
M: Well, you'll get other chances.
W: I will have to leave you pretty soon.
M: Right, you said you weren't a doctor.
W: Would a doctor spend more time with you?
M: Yes, I see it.
W: One doesn't see such doctors nowadays.
M: Only when I'm a stranger.
W: Then I fear you would receive even worse service.
M: His aspirations were such.
W: He wanted to have the best doctors?
M: No I don't.
W: You don't want the best doctors, but he does?
M: Captured?
W: Are you captured by the doctors?
M: A brilliant maneuver.
W: I only put verb and previous subject together.
M: It's always the same thing.
W: My grammatical wonderland?
M: That is not what gives your life its richness.
W: True, it is the lyrical content of one's writing which does that, not its punctilio.
M: How does that relate to the irrational number?
W: Numbers can't be irrational, in my intuition.
M: He wanted to have the best doctors?
W: Mathematical doctors, doctors of jurisprudence?
M: Do you consider yourself a serious person?
W: Perhaps not as serious as those I have just cited.
M: Are you captured by the doctors?
W: I am captivated by PhDs.
M: I try to roll with them.
W: Do you have an advanced degree?
M: Then I fear you would receive even worse service.
W: Because you would be "snooty"?
M: I can't see it.
W: No, you would never "go there."
M: Yes, bye.
W: Bye!
M: Closing in 1 second ... Goodbye!